Saturday, January 31, 2009

Things to Consider Before Remarrying Your Ex

We hear about it more and more all the time, Couples who couldn't make it work, got divorced, started dating again, and got married a second time. It seems that a lot of people are finding their way back to an old flame and trying to make it work the second time around.

There are a lot of success stories out there about people who have gotten married a second time, but there are also a lot of horror stories. Is it a good idea to remarry your ex? Can you make it work? What is the difference between those that are successful and those that are not?

It's important to remember why the marriage didn't work in the first place. If they were constantly cheating on you or they were physically abusive you really need to stop and think about whether these are things that are going to change. Many times these are things that are built into the character of the person and are hard to change.

Why would you want to remarry someone that you couldn't stay married to before? There are a lot of people who make it work, but be sure that you haven't gone back to your ex because you're comfortable with them or you know what to expect. Don't settle for someone just because you know who they are and you are tired of trying to figure out other people.

Do you have any indication that things will go better this time around? It's hard enough to get married and divorced once let alone twice to the same person. If you don't have any clear cut indications that things will be different this time around, why get married again? Really look at the relationship for what it is and not what you want it to be to be sure that this is something that is more likely to work than it was before.

You should make sure when you are spending time with your ex that you are not just falling back into familiar behavioral patterns. This is a mistake that many people make. Be sure that you create new boundaries and new behaviors inside of the relationship otherwise the relationship is destined to follow the same path that it did the first time around.

You don't have to get married. Don't feel like you have to get married just because that is what you did before. Many people live very happily together without ever being married to each other. Don't seal your fate just because you feel as though you should be married.

These are some serious things to consider before you marry anyone, especially your ex husband or wife. Divorce is hard, no matter who you are or what your relationship has been like, so be sure that you really stop and take time to consider why you are choosing to get married to the same person that you married unsuccessfully last time.

If you consider all of these things honestly and still feel comfortable with the idea of marrying, chances are your heart and mind are in the right place and your marriage has as much chance of surviving as any!

Rodrigo Rehn is a Relationships Expert, Linux Systems Administrator, Web Programmer, PHP Developer and CEO of http://www.faceromance.com Online dating services.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

How To Get Back With An Ex In 5 Steps

First of all let me say "YES relationships CAN be salvaged" but there is work involved and you definitely need a plan on how to get back with an ex. You can't beg a person to come back. You need to fully understand why the relationship ended and what needs to be done to fix it. Couples reunite everyday but not all of them stay reunited. You will stand a better chance at salvaging that relationship if you learn the right things to say and do. Here are 5 important steps that will help you get back with an ex.

1. Just Accept The Break Up!

This will be difficult at first but accepting the break up allows you time to clear your head. Tell your ex that you are okay with it, and allow the "moving on" process to begin. When you do this, it will eliminate a large amount of tension and stress that you have been experiencing. Your ex needs time to think about the relationship as well. If your ex realizes that he or she still loves you, they will find a way to get back with you.

2. Don't Call, Email or Text Your Ex!

This goes in line with accepting the break up. You should cut communication off with him or her so that there can be some "thinking time". This may seem counterintuitive, but by cutting communication off you are signaling that you have already moved on and that you are doing just fine.

To get back with an ex sometimes you need to separate yourself from them and can calm your nerves. This may be the best time to let them realize how important you were to them and allow them to start missing you again.

3. Plan Ahead for the Get Together

If at this point you still feel like you can get back with an ex, then this is where you can start thinking when you should meet, where you should meet, and also what should be said when you do meet up again. This will allow you to get a better idea of whether or not your ex still loves you, and also if there is any chance that you and your ex will be able to get back together.

4. Talk Out Your Differences

You both need to understand that at this stage you and your partner won't always get along. Realize that there will be differences of opinions because it's a natural occurrence for all couples. However, don't let those "differences" get out of control. Now is the time to talk out those differences and come up with some kind of comprise that both can live with.

5. Be A Good Listener!

Wow! Sounds like a "no brainer" right? So many couples screw this one up and it is one of the most important elements if you want to get back with an ex.

Being able to listen to your partner when they need it encourages them to keep the lines of communication open. Don't interrupt them. Let them say what they need to and then take your turn. There is no quicker way to shut down the conversation than when a partner feels that the other person isn't listening.

These are just the beginning steps to get back with an ex. Consider them the essential stepping stones to rebuilding that relationship. Apply them then listen to your heart to make things work between you and your ex lover.

Richard is a physical therapist and health promoter. If you want to learn more on "How To Get Back With An Ex" visit us at http://getbackwithmyex.weebly.com/ for a full page of tips.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

How To Get My Ex Back Even If I Am The Only One Trying

How to get my ex back even if my situation seems completely hopeless? Perhaps, you have been feeling troubled over the question above for a very long time.

Well, the good news is, a break up doesn't necessarily have to be the end of a relationship, unless you allow it to be so. While there is no guarantee that you will definitely be able to get your ex back, there is always a chance for you to succeed even if you are the only one trying and your ex doesn't seem to be doing anything.

The fact is couple get back together a lot of time, more often than you know of, even in some of the most impossible situation. If they can do it, there is a good chance that you may be able to get your ex boyfriend or girlfriend back too.

Therefore, instead of worrying about whether you can get your ex back, it will be more constructive to spend your energy in learning how to get your ex back instead. The fact is, if you are the only one trying, then you need to go and do something about it in order to get your ex back.

Perhaps, one important step is to avoid some of the most common mistakes that many guys and gals made when they are trying to get their ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend back.

If you have just broken up with your ex a few days ago, it is best not to contact him or her for the time being as you are probably not in the right emotional state now. Your tendency to make mistakes during this period of time will be so much higher.

You should only attempt to contact your ex when you are more stable emotionally. Also, when contacting your ex, you do not want to make this mistake, calling your ex over and over again.

This usually happen when you call, and your ex is not picking up the phone. Every time you call, all you hear is a voice mail. So, you may start to feel panic and keep on calling over and over again. This is quite a common mistake and is one mistake that you will definitely want to avoid.

This is because you don't want to give your ex the impression that you are feeling desperate. Desperation will only tend to push your ex further away. By knowing the mistakes to avoid, you will have a much higher chance to get your ex back.

Watch 2 videos that shows you how to train your ex to treat you better and how not to push your ex away again once you have overcome his or her initial resistance.

http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-get-your-ex-back-tactics

Sunday, January 25, 2009

How To Make Your Ex Pursue You After A Breakup

Break ups take the life force out of you, particularly if breaking up was not your idea or you realize that your decision to breakup was a huge mistake. You don't feel like participating in life and things you used to like doing hold no joy at all.

The only thing on your mind is getting your ex back no matter what it takes, but there's a major problem. Your ex is either non-responsive or pulls the other way. At this point you may be surprised to know that you can actually make them pursue instead of you chasing them.

For starters, you'll need to fix your appearance and start looking good again. No more drooped shoulders and long faces, you need to look confident. Emitting an aura of confidence is attractive and your ex will notice along with everyone else. Your ex didn't fall for you because you were depressed and moping about. Become the person they fell for in the first place.

Now you're looking good you need to find the strength to get out of the house and experience life again. Go places with friend whose company you enjoy and are upbeat and fun. Enjoy yourself, have fun, don't let your ex see that you feel your life is falling apart. Careful though, if your ex thinks that you are trying to make them jealous it could ruin your whole plan. The idea is to remind them of the strong and confident person they fell in love with in the first place.

One of the number one rules after a breakup is to keep contact with your ex to an absolute minimum so that your ex will have the chance to miss you. When they are given the time to miss you and see or hear about the strong, confident person out having fun it may just prompt your ex to start pursuing you. Wouldn't that be great? I realize that keeping contact to a minimum is difficult because all you want to do is be with them, but the fact that minimal contact gives them the opportunity to make your ex miss you makes this tactic too powerful to ignore.

These few tips aren't hard a fast rules of getting your ex back, but they are certainly a good place to start. Many people are reconciling with their ex every day and you can too. You just need to show your ex that you are still the person they fell for.

Sharon Reid posts new tips and techniques about getting back together with your ex on one of her blogs at http://makingupwithex.blogspot.com/ most days.

Get Your Ex Back by Doing and Saying the Right Things

If you have recently broken up with your partner but are still talking, even minimally, there is hope in salvaging the relationship...but communication is key. At this stage emotions are on a roller coaster ride and both parties need to be aware of each others feelings. Use these 7 tips to help open the lines of communication.

1. Sharing Thoughts and Feelings

Don't make the other person feel stupid for what they're feeling. Rolling of the eyes or scoffing at remarks just builds more barriers.

2. Support

Do give the other support and reaffirm what it is you heard them say and acknowledge that they have a right to their feelings.

3. Talk Out Your Differences

Do understand that at this stage you and your partner won't always get along. Realize that there will be differences of opinions because it's a natural occurrence for all couples.

Don't let those "differences" get out of control. Now is the time to talk out those differences and come up with some kind of comprise that both can live with.

4. Listen

This is probably the hardest of all. Being able to listen to your partner when they need it encourages them to keep the lines of communication open.

Don't interrupt them. Let them say what they need to and then take your turn. There is no quicker way to shut down the conversation than when a partner feels that the other person isn't listening.

5. Build Trust and Honesty

Do tell your partner the truth about your feelings and avoid lying. Lies will only build on other lies and will ultimately kill trust in a partnership completely.

Don't hold back on the true feelings you really want to express by keeping thoughts or feelings bottled up inside you. Now is the time to find out if your partner really supports those feelings. When those feelings do surface, don't let them come out in a torrent of anger. Doing so will only hurt the other person.

6. Take Things Seriously

If your partner brings up a concern they have, take it seriously. Don't brush it off as nonsense. If it's a concern for them, it needs to be worked out, so help support them in that matter. If you don't take it seriously, they won't take you seriously and communication will cease to exist.

7. Stay Positive

Do maintain a positive attitude with your partner as much as possible. It's not always easy to do, especially if the break up was really nasty, but it is essential for communication.

Negative attitudes build barriers to communication. A positive attitude encourages more communication and allows a relationship to grow.

Re-establishing lines of communication is probably one of the best places to start in getting your ex back. Maintaining these key points in your relationship can ensure that the lines of communication will stay open. You can grow a healthy relationship that will last a lifetime.

Richard is a physical therapist and health promoter. Don't blow your chances of getting back with your ex, discover the secret techniques taught in The Magic Of Making Up course by visiting http://www.squidoo.com/I-Want-My-Ex-Back today!

Can I Get My Ex Back Even If My Situation Seems Hopeless and Impossible?

Well, getting an ex back is not always a easy thing to do as you always have to worry about doing the wrong things that may spell the end of a relationship.

What makes things worse is that whenever we think this is the right thing to do, it is most often the wrong move. Perhaps, you can say that most of the time, you should do something that seems counter intuitive instead.

For example, if you feel like calling your ex, it is probably not the right thing to do. If you feel like professing your undying love, it is recommended that you think twice. If you feel like arguing over the break up, then it is very likely to be the wrong move.

In the paragraphs that follow, we shall go through some counter intuitive techniques. Now, chances are you are going to dismiss these techniques altogether. However, these techniques have been proven to work in even the most tricky situation. If you have tried everything to get your ex back but has no success, it is probably time to look for more effective techniques.

Counter Intuitive Technique 1

Instead of arguing, you should agree with the break up. It is probably a difficult thing for you to do. Therefore, you should try to understand why you should do that. The main reason is because you want to give your ex some time to start missing you again.

Remember, at the point of breaking up, your ex will probably be very upset with you especially if you are trying to nag your ex back. Which is why arguing is not going to work at that point in time. By agreeing with the break up, you will set the stage for your next move and help you get back together with your ex.

Counter Intuitive Technique 2

The next thing to do is to cut off all contact with your ex. There are 2 good reasons for doing so. First, you are probably feeling extremely upset just after a break up and you should give yourself some time to recover emotionally. Most people tend to make mistakes because they are not in the right emotional state.

By cutting off contact for the time being, you are protecting yourself from making mistakes. The next reason is to give your ex time to miss you and to get over the reasons for being upset with you.

Watch 2 videos that shows you how to train your ex to treat you better and how not to push your ex away again once you have overcome his or her initial resistance.

http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-get-your-ex-back-tactics

5 Steps On How To Save My Relationship After Cheating

If infidelity has impacted your relationship and you're confused about which way to go with it then there are some powerful tips you can use to save it. That is of course if you are asking the question of..."how to save my relationship after cheating."

Cheating has a devastating effect, not just on a couple's bond but can also impact family and friends. If your partner has cheated on you then you will be receiving a lot of advice from people about whether to leave the relationship or to save it. If it's the latter, you need to apply some proven techniques if it is to have any chance of surviving a second coming.

Don't fall into the trap of trying to resurrect it on your own. This rarely works and achieves nothing except establishing low self esteem and in a strange way, almost giving a tick of approval to your partner. If there are children involved then the decision to give it another try makes some sense but only if you are both committed to working together to get your partnership back on track.

How To Save My Relationship After Cheating

1. First you have to get to the bottom of the extent of the infidelity. How long has it been going on? How many times have they cheated? Was it a one time episode? This is the crucial first step because unless you know the full truth then reality is that it will likely be just a patch up job and the likelihood of it continuing is strong

2. Avoid the temptation to get your own back by returning the favor and cheating on your partner. By doing this you've suddenly doubled the problem and in all fairness, if either of you are capable of being unfaithful then simply end the relationship now.

3. Try to get to the bottom of why your partner strayed. If they are a serial strayer then head for the door but if it is just a one-time occurrence then look for something a little deeper. Look at your behavior as well; is there anything you've done or are doing differently from when you first met. Have your partner be honest with the way he feels about you and the issues he has. In other words, it's time to be honest with each other now and unless you are, it will be difficult moving forward.

4. Saving your relationship after cheating once you established the underlying cause requires some getting back to the past. In other words, think about when you first met. What you both liked to do together. Start dating again or take a weekend trip away even if it's only and hour or two from where you live. get involved in activities together and most of all, be with friends who treat you as an inseparable couple.

5. Under no circumstances bring up the past indiscretion. Don't be tempted to get back at your partner in an argument by dredging up their shortcomings of the past.

Want to know the shortcut to getting your ex back? Discover the secrets thousands have used to win back their ex. Grab the most important book ever written on making up - The Magic Of Making Up at: http://saverelationshipreviews.com